Noun 1. poleax - an ax used to slaughter cattle; has a hammer opposite the blade
Last week I mentioned having received momentous news that left me stunned. All of you hoped for the best, but one or two of you added (quite rightly) that "momentous" doesn't always mean "good".
After twenty-six years, on February 1, I was laid off work. An entire job position within my company vanished in a puff of smoke.
In my case, I was more than stunned. I felt as though I'd been led into a slaughterhouse where someone tried to poleaxe me. The blow forced me to my knees. Then I became angry. I struggled to stand, left the slaughterhouse with dignity, finished my shift, and quietly went home.
Since then I've had time to discover my options and think them over. I've had time to ponder why it is that, when a person is caught up in something like this, one of the first things one does is to feel guilty, to feel less worthy. Silly, isn't it? Fortunately I didn't feel that way for very long.
Thanks in large part to the amazing and supportive man I married, although I still feel as if I've checked into a room in The Twilight Zone, I no longer feel stunned, guilty, shamed, or angry. Tomorrow will be my last day at work. My last act will be to take my severance package and leave. I'm looking forward to it.
Life has just turned into an adventure, and I'm looking forward to what's over that next hill.
I am sure they haven´t realised what they threw away!
ReplyDeleteAnd all my best wishes for you that you may find something really interesting and worthwhile to spend your time on!
Oh heck Cathy I wish it had been good news for you but as it's not I can only wish you the very best of luck in the future. I know it sounds trite but sometimes things do happen for a reason and perhaps there is a wonderful opportunity awaiting you just around the corner. I had a similar experience about 4 years ago and it all worked out for me in the end though at the time it seemed like a bit of a hopeless situation. I hope the severance package is decent enough that you can take a bit of time to relax and recover from the emotional torment of being laid off (and I can certainly understand the feeling of being poleaxed). I shall send my best thoughts across the ocean to you.
ReplyDeleteAll the best with the new opportunity Cathy - you'll probably feel pole-axed for a while yet, but we are all thinking of you
ReplyDeleteI would say I'm sorry but I don't think that's the way you start and adventure. And an adventure this will be! I second Dorte's comment: they don't know what they lost. From your posts on here we can tell what a personality you are.
ReplyDeleteSo how about this? Congratulations on your newfound freedom! Hooray for more reading time!! We look forward to more blogs and hope you find new employment at a leisurely pace so as not to upset your new reading schedule.
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
Cathy - I truly feel for you. My husband has been poleaxed (what a GREAT term!) more times than I would care to count in our 27 years of marriage. I am just so thankful that you have mentally recovered and have such a great attitude about the opportunities that are waiting for you after today. I truly do believe that when one door closes - another one opens. I hope that you have lots and lots and open doors from which to choose.
ReplyDeleteCathy, I'm sorry this has happened. However, I echo the sentiment of one door closing and another opening. My hope is that you will have a bit of time to take stock and see what the next phase of your life will be. 26 years is a long time so of course you are grieving. You'll come out of this though and be on to the next adventure I am sure. :-)
ReplyDeleteI so admire your attitude. My hope is that this will bring only good and very little bad. Best of luck in wherever your path take you, but I hope you always find a place for blogging and books.
ReplyDeleteI'm stunned too. I'm sorry to hear your news, but I'm hoping it's a new beginning for you. Now you can write the memoir that I'm dying to read. I'll be thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry to hear about the poleaxing. I think it's more a reflection of the success of the inculcation of capitalism that you felt guilty and less worthy than any reality. Many many people are getting poleaxed these days. It's a hard thing. But I agree it's a good opportunity too, if you can somehow avoid the unhappy feelings the system trains you to have, and take advantage of your new freedom and opportunities. And above all, speaking from my own experience, I hope you don't let worrying about the future diminish your ability to enjoy this time!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about this. It is good to have home support, and life CAN be a great adventure with a little imagination and a terrific husband!
ReplyDeleteThank heaven you have a supportive, loving husband - and that I do too. When I told my boss I had decided to retire 4 yrs. ago, I half expected him to express some sort of regret, but he jumped to his feet, delighted, even overjoyed, and said, "That's great, Barbara. You've made a good decision." What a letdown, and I blamed myself too at first. I'm happy you're looking at this for what it is, an excellent opportunity to draw on your many talents for a new adventure. I know you'll succeed.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, for not staying down for long! The "redundancy" is SOOOO NOT personal and you WILL look back and be joyous at the possibilities that opened up to you this week.
ReplyDeleteForward ho! (And with such a marvelous attitude!)
Sorry to hear about this. But given your mental bounceback, I'm sure you'll not be kept down for any future endeavor. Best to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteCathy: I'm so sorry to hear this. Hoping that this can end up being an opportunity rather than a letdown. And thank goodness for your wonderful husband and his support.
ReplyDeleteCathy,
ReplyDeleteI really admire you for the line of thought you outlined in this post. Like everyone else, I wish you the best, but I have to think you would be terrific at whatever job you hold. You face difficulty in such a clear-headed way (though I know it didn't come easy or without support!).
We'll all be here rooting for you, just like always.
I am inspired by your attitude and your sense of adventure, Kathy. I am sorry that this happened to you but I have this feeling fun and great things are awaiting you. I am glad you are feeling better mentally. Good luck and best wishes in the days, weeks and months ahead. Poleaxed is a fantastic word, love it!
ReplyDelete~ Amy
I'm sorry to hear your news - I can only imagine what a shock it must have been. (And I understand the guilt reaction - I think I would have it, too.) But it sounds like you're adapting to the change and seeing opportunity. Heads up, and best of luck!
ReplyDeleteWow, Cathy, I'm sorry to hear this! Best of luck on your next adventure!
ReplyDeleteYour company must be crazy losing someone with your talents and twenty six years experience. Unfortunately it is happening all over the world I do hope you get what you want in the future, whether it is more leisure time or another full time job.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes and good luck.
Welcome to the free fall! I hope you get to enjoy your break before the next exciting part of your life comes along.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to be unemployed (or underemployed) in America. People ask what you "do." But it is an opportunity, and I wish you lots of luck.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine what a shock that must have been. I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your job, but am wishing you the best for the future. I hope that you find something that you truly love to do.
ReplyDeleteOoof. I have been there, and you described the feeling perfectly. Here's hoping for a speedy return to a satisfactory employment sitch.
ReplyDeleteOh man, that sucks!! After you've escaped from the Twilight Zone I'm sure that a new, and hopefully better, experience will begin.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I could come up with a nicer word but Stupid is how I would describe your former employer. And now I'm glad you're now working for some stupid company. If you have to work for someone else, I hope it's someone who will appreciate you and your skills.
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of skills, I hope you have enough free time to do some writing. You are so good at writing. I love when you write about the old days and your mother and grandmother. Whatever you decide to do, I'm with you and will send heavenly good wishes your way.
I am not a great fan of unions..which is a whole other issue...but these days I am very happy to be in one and have 25 years seniority.
ReplyDeleteIt is a terrible shock no doubt but let's hope it can be the beginning of a new opportunity~
Companies these days just suck. They want employee loyalty but do nothing to earn it.
ReplyDeleteSorry.
You, my friends, quite simply blow me away. Your good wishes, empathy, insight, and encouragement are all so very much appreciated. You leave me grasping for words and more than a bit teary-eyed.
ReplyDeleteCathy -
ReplyDeleteThis is a late comment, but my heart goes out to you.... I have been canned so many times and each time it just blows you away. It takes a while to come up and catch your breath.
Hang in there.. I have found that something better or different is just around the corner.
Love the new blog background!
I just saw this in Google Reader and I'm stunned—-26 years of faithful service, a quarter of a century, and in return you get a severance package.
ReplyDeleteApparently Target is replacing helpful and cheerful CS reps for the younger set who could care less about people or the job. Our Target, the one behind Chandler Mall, is staffed by the latter--and the store sales show it.
Sorry to hear you lost your job! I hope everything turns out for the best though, whatever that may be.
ReplyDeleteShellie-- Thanks so much. I have the feeling that, if I don't rush things, something wonderful is going to happen. I've learned to go with those feelings.
ReplyDeleteCharlie-- I didn't work out on the front lines, but back in the offices because I couldn't take working with the public any more. Target, like any other employer these days, has to accept the best of those who apply... and sometimes the quality of the applicants makes one want to weep. On the whole, Target has been very good to me and allowed me many opportunities that I wouldn't have had otherwise. I could take this personally, but I just can't.
Kris-- Thank you!